Well, first, our bags did arrive safely later that afternoon. However, I was glad we had put snacks in the carry on since we had not had lunch.
We arrived at nap time, so we waited for our first encounter with Jeremiah. We met with staff at COTP and talked about how the schedule would look during our stay, what to expect, and ask all our questions. Jeremiah would not be sleeping in our room the first night. I was a little hesitant about this and was worried about how he would react. What I didn't know then, but learned later, is that I do feel that was best. Jeremiah wasn't the only one who would undergo transitions. His friends knew what was happening. They knew he would be leaving. They were sad too. When he left the baby house, he would not be coming back. The children had been through that before and were about to do it again. It was hard on them too. This adoption/orphan thing is messy and multi-faceted. There are many people to think about while transitioning.
Then, nap-time was over, and I will admit that I was nervous. I had been nervous since we left, but now thoughts were oozing from my mind. . .
- our life would never be the same
- our family, as we knew it, was over
- a new normal would occur (and I hate change)
- a stranger will be living with us
- he will be living with strangers in a strange land
- can i do this
- is God really going to do this
- is our marriage strong enough
- are our children strong enough
We walked to the baby house. . .video camera in hand (to be shown later). And, it wasn't magical. It wasn't like childbirth. It wasn't this amazing moment. It was what it was. . .a little boy (sleepy) looking at strangers, then hugging them and asking them to hold him. . .just like he had.every.other.adult.who.visited.
Was I prepared? NO. There were many things about myself that I was not prepared for and I might share that later (or I might not). One thing I will say is that I was not prepared to deal with the emotions of all the other children--their needs, their wants. If we wanted to take Jeremiah on a walk, then the others wanted to walk. If we went to the trampoline, others wanted to go to the trampoline. We were fine with all of that but found it hard to balance what Jeremiah was needing at the time too. Parenting is hard normally---and this, well, it was overboard "hard". You see, parents and visitors were the ticket into the guest house, which we were staying in. All the "snack foods" are there. We just became the "ticket". So, everyone wanted to follow us everywhere, especially the guest house. And, to Jeremiah, we were really just a "possession". "His" daddy, "His" momma. . .as a result, he wasn't always kind to the other children--pushing them away. If you know me well, you know that I can enter a school cafeteria and practically cry when I observe certain social situations, particularly those students who are alone. So, I wasn't too excited that my child was treating others this way. However, I "knew" this was just his way of dealing with the situation. Sometimes your breaking heart does not match the knowledge in your head (little did I know this would be my "mantra" for life in our home for the upcoming months, and probably years).
So, for the next several days, we tried to balance our emotions, Jeremiah's feelings, and the emotions of his friends. Staff loved Jeremiah too, so this was hard for them as well. We spent our first day walking around COTP (within the walls). There were some farm animals in the back of the property, and we often visited that area. The pig, goat, and turkey were fenced together, and Jeremiah enjoyed visiting them. We would go to the trampoline where they wanted us participating, OR they didn't want to jump. Tried this a bit the first day, then decided I might just hang out on the side.
Then, it was dark. REALLY dark (before 6:00). At 6:45 one night, we were sitting in the visitor's house talking about how tired we were and it must be close to bedtime--then we looked at the clock. WRONG. It was only 6:45. The kids were all bathed and in footie PJs (despite what we considered "heat") by 6:30. Before bedtime, around 7:30/8, the nannies brought all the kids together, read the Bible, prayed, sang, and DANCED. I will say that I loved this part. We danced with the nannies and the kids, then had to say good night to Jeremiah, and leave him in the baby house. Yep. It's as horrible as it sounds. He cried. (But I really think it was more about the food in the visitor's house, then staying with us--now that I know him well.)
The next morning was church service with those serving at COTP. For me, this was an important part of the day. Worshiping with those who had committed a part of their lives to taking care of the fatherless. This was also their day off so after service they spent time with their families as they should. We did more trampoline, visiting animals, reading, and napping.
This was our basic agenda until we went to the beach on New Year's Eve day. It mind sound a little bland, but remember--life was changing rapidly. This two year process had just ended. It was surreal. I wanted to cherish my time there, but at the same time, I NEEDED to get home to the girls. I missed them. I knew that they were probably anxious and excited. So while Monday was more of the same with a little shopping from a local woman who brought goods to COTP, I didn't mind too much.
Sunday night, Jeremiah stayed with us. I wasn't positive what to do. We talked about waiting another night. I'm thinking we probably should have, but it was all foreign to me. Children from hard places does not equal anything I had ever known. It wasn't natural. It shouldn't have been as this is not how God created families to be. It's redemption. So, he came with us. I describe it as this: Leave your home now, go next door, borrow their 5 year old child, then put him in between you and your husband to sleep. Bathe him, take care of his bathroom needs, and love him. Add a mosquito net surrounding your bed and nannies singing at about 5:30 am and, well, it makes for a little bit of sleep deprivation. (Shhhh. . .don't tell, but it WAS worth it.)
What I could not imagine when Jeremiah came to stay with us is that his buddies were mourning the loss. Some crying loudly that I could hear. Well, you know what that did to me. Enough said.
New Year's Eve/Day is very celebratory in Haiti. It also marks their independence day. And, they celebrate ALL.NIGHT. Cows hanging in the streets for you to go purchase your meat for the night. Packed streets even more than usual. We headed to the beach. This was such a highlight of the trip. We went with a missionary family and their family from the US that was visiting. It was so great to get to meet others who were serving there during our stay. The winding roads there and back, well, made me a bit ill, but the end result was worth it. We also ate a hot meal--hamburger and fries you know. Jeremiah received his first time out on this beach when he yelled in defiance at Tim. Well, that was a bit embarrassing when your parenting seems under a microscope. Vanilla mom/Chocolate babe--well, we already stand out a bit. Overall, things ended well, and a good time was had by all.
On our way back to COTP, we drove past the clinic where Jeremiah had been dropped off after he had been found. It's in the video but I don't think I got a good picture.
When we arrived at COTP, we had the pleasure of meeting Goose Fitzpatrick who came to pick up his two children. His brother traveled with him to help. It was SOOO good to see people who were in our shoes and walking this journey as well. It was refreshing. It was also going to be good to travel with them back to Miami even though it was a bit packed in Ivinge's vehicle. (3 men over 6'2. 3 children. 1 female. Driver. Ivinge. LUGGAGE).
The next morning was church service with those serving at COTP. For me, this was an important part of the day. Worshiping with those who had committed a part of their lives to taking care of the fatherless. This was also their day off so after service they spent time with their families as they should. We did more trampoline, visiting animals, reading, and napping.
This was our basic agenda until we went to the beach on New Year's Eve day. It mind sound a little bland, but remember--life was changing rapidly. This two year process had just ended. It was surreal. I wanted to cherish my time there, but at the same time, I NEEDED to get home to the girls. I missed them. I knew that they were probably anxious and excited. So while Monday was more of the same with a little shopping from a local woman who brought goods to COTP, I didn't mind too much.
Sunday night, Jeremiah stayed with us. I wasn't positive what to do. We talked about waiting another night. I'm thinking we probably should have, but it was all foreign to me. Children from hard places does not equal anything I had ever known. It wasn't natural. It shouldn't have been as this is not how God created families to be. It's redemption. So, he came with us. I describe it as this: Leave your home now, go next door, borrow their 5 year old child, then put him in between you and your husband to sleep. Bathe him, take care of his bathroom needs, and love him. Add a mosquito net surrounding your bed and nannies singing at about 5:30 am and, well, it makes for a little bit of sleep deprivation. (Shhhh. . .don't tell, but it WAS worth it.)
What I could not imagine when Jeremiah came to stay with us is that his buddies were mourning the loss. Some crying loudly that I could hear. Well, you know what that did to me. Enough said.
New Year's Eve/Day is very celebratory in Haiti. It also marks their independence day. And, they celebrate ALL.NIGHT. Cows hanging in the streets for you to go purchase your meat for the night. Packed streets even more than usual. We headed to the beach. This was such a highlight of the trip. We went with a missionary family and their family from the US that was visiting. It was so great to get to meet others who were serving there during our stay. The winding roads there and back, well, made me a bit ill, but the end result was worth it. We also ate a hot meal--hamburger and fries you know. Jeremiah received his first time out on this beach when he yelled in defiance at Tim. Well, that was a bit embarrassing when your parenting seems under a microscope. Vanilla mom/Chocolate babe--well, we already stand out a bit. Overall, things ended well, and a good time was had by all.
On our way back to COTP, we drove past the clinic where Jeremiah had been dropped off after he had been found. It's in the video but I don't think I got a good picture.
When we arrived at COTP, we had the pleasure of meeting Goose Fitzpatrick who came to pick up his two children. His brother traveled with him to help. It was SOOO good to see people who were in our shoes and walking this journey as well. It was refreshing. It was also going to be good to travel with them back to Miami even though it was a bit packed in Ivinge's vehicle. (3 men over 6'2. 3 children. 1 female. Driver. Ivinge. LUGGAGE).
(YES, I am between Ivinge and his driver. No I don't have a seat. What you don't see are the children on each man's lap. When in Haiti, travel as the Haitians do.)
But, I get ahead of myself. New Year's Day was filled with bittersweet memories. COTP has a Going Home party for their children when they leave. It is so special and our video camera didn't capture it well as it picked up a lot of wind noise although we included some on the video. The nannies sang to the children and prayed over each child leaving. Then, their preschool teacher, Tori, prayed as well. It was particularly hard for her as she loved those leaving so much. Good news is that she sometimes is in the midwest to visit! Cookies were shared and tears were shed.
Another highlight of the trip: Witnessing the love that had been lavished on Jeremiah while he was in their care. I know they loved him.
And, again I have written a long, unfinished blog post. I guess there will be a Part 3. If I were to add the changes that God has instituted in me this year along with this simple telling of what happened. Well, it would never end. I may write that later. It's not for this post. This is simply a documentation of what we thought was the END of our journey. Little did we know. . .
Stay tuned for the rest of the story. It will be a lot shorter. HA!
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